


The Itallian is "caffè latte" why are you putting an accent on the end of "latte"?

by Slant



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bureaucratic!Shepard, Professionalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 03:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4731995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slant/pseuds/Slant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the fan who asked for a coffee shop AU with professionalism,  where people hitting on the minimum-wage employees desparate for tips are treated like the scum they are. I don't think I've done a very good job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Itallian is "caffè latte" why are you putting an accent on the end of "latte"?

"Do you ever worry that we take this to seriously? Like, we're brewing coffee here, not prosecuting a war against omnicidal alien robot gods."  
Shepard was helping Joker unbox their new-to-them gas flow chromatograph.  
"Nah, it's good. I'm the best, right? If I'd passed the physicals I'd have been the best pilot, but I didn't, so now I'm the best molecular gastronomist."  
"Right, fine, so your idea is that we need to know the time evolution of the organic volatiles given of during roasting."  
"Yeah, that'll give us much better data to optimise temperature and time."  
"And then we can grab the scent molecule with a cold-trap; in the morning we load them into the vortex canon and start strafing the street with them. Bam! Everyone's smelling awesome coffee."  
"I'm not advertising chief, you know that. Damn. Half the columns are busted. I'll get to fixing them, you fetch the flow gas and try to figure out how to get the oven to vent into the system."

...

"Errr... excuse me, I said `to go'."  
"You also asked for coffee, not `weird cardboard or polystyrene-flavoured beverage'."  
"But I need to go soon!"  
"That's why it's espresso."  
"I wanted a latte."  
"Well this fits your needs better and has superior flavour. You're welcome, please come again."

...

"So what do you look like, under the mask?"  
"Sir, this is a coffee shop not a face-describing emporium."  
Somehow, even the toxic handedness of the molecules wasn't the worst thing about working customer service. The worst thing was having a shotgun and not being allowed to use it.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay for "Real time monitoring of free radical processes during the roasting of coffee beans using electron paramagnetic resonance spectroscopy"
> 
> http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0308814610009258


End file.
